“And you are….? And you are here because…? And you are looking for…?…”
Many years ago there was a funny skit on Saturday Night Live about an absolutely clueless - and very obnoxious, receptionist who did not recognize very recognizable celebrity characters when they arrived at his desk. The receptionist would ask multiple questions like the ones above. The skit would go on and on with the questions and answers becoming more and more ridiculous.
I often feel like that receptionist when I receive an invitation to connect on LinkedIn from someone I don’t know who just sends me the default LinkedIn connection request. The default invitation looks like this:
Valerie,
I’d like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn.
-[John Doe]
I know that on MySpace and FaceBook people “friend up” with complete strangers all the time. But somehow on LinkedIn it just feels wrong, at least to me. LinkedIn is about building your “network of connections”. To me, a “network of connections” implies that my connections are actually people I have interacted with in one way or another either in person, over the phone, through email or online in a forum of some kind.
Even connecting with a perfect stranger is fine with me as long as they provide some context for the invitation; some reason for connecting. Reasons would include an industry, company or school in common; an interest in common, a professional objective in common….whatever. Just SOMETHING that shows you are interested in building a relationship with me and not just increasing your connection count.
As a result of being very vocal on this topic in various online forums, I have been criticized for my position on the matter. There are also a fair number of supporters of my view as well, so I know I am not alone. I freely admit to being a “relationship gal” and I do not apologize for it. It is one of the strengths that I bring to my career as a recruiter when dealing with clients and candidates.
I guess this really shouldn’t surprise me, but there are actually people in this world who don’t think they need to tell you anything about themselves or why they want to connect with you. Apparently they think that you will just be so enthralled with their utterly fascinating profile (to which you must navigate in order to get any sense of who they are) that you just can’t help yourself but to accept their invitation. To me, this just seems incredibly arrogant. And certainly NOT a way to start a relationship! Sheeesh!
It is not as though I don’t accept invitations from perfect strangers, I do. I am just picky about how I am approached. The LinkedIn invitation is your first opportunity to make a good impression, especially when approaching a complete stranger. If you are truly interested in connecting with someone, WHY would you want to imply that they are not really worth your time by sending them the generic invitation? Do yourself a favor, take a few moments to review their profile, particularly the section at the bottom called “Contact Settings”, and customize your invitation accordingly. Approaching strangers in this way shows them respect and dignity; that you actually VALUE what they might bring to your network. Isn’t that a much better way to start any kind of relationship?
Nice Blog. I like the layout you used. Did you make that yourself?
- Randy Nichols.
Hi Randy,
Well, the answer to your question depends on how you define “make that yourself”
I had the basic ideas of a very clean look, and the purple lion and purple in general. My amazing husband is the guy who spent hours finding the basic template and playing with fonts and formatting and layout. He is not a web designer - and after this project he is very happy to confirm that - but he slogged through in order to accomplish my vision.
Thanks for your comment!
Valerie
I don’t use LinkedIn as much as I should. And, I am the first to admit that I don’t know many of the features available to me as a LinkedIn user. Which leads me to a question that maybe you can answer? Am I able to look at the profile of an individual I don’t recall/remember who sends me an invitation to join their network; the goal being to learn something about them that they failed to mention to me, e.g., who they are and how we are or should be connected? My knee jerk reaction when I receive a LinkedIn invitation from someone I don’t know by name is to reject it. However, what I typically do first is let the invitation hang around in my email for awhile and try to ignore it as I am not sure how to manage it! For some reason, offhandedly accepting it feels like an invasion of privacy. It feels like opening the door to someone I can see through the “peephole” but don’t know; clearly not as dangerous, but similar. And, rejecting it feels like possibly throwing away something/someone potentially very important. I ultimately erase the invitation from an unknown caller, however, I first “Google” their name, look at other friends links to see if the name shows up, etc. If I can’t figure out who the invitation is from I feel a little used; certainly this individual has wasted my time.
Returning to the subject of your essay, Valerie, one of the things that appeals to me about “networks” is the ability to “hook up” with people I don’t know, individuals with whom I can share professional knowledge, experiences, etc. Valerie, you make the statement , “To me, a “network of connections” implies that my connections are actually people I have interacted with in one way or another either in person, over the phone, through email or online in a forum of some kind.”
Personally, I would welcome connections with people I’ve never interacted with in “any way” as long as they do as you say, “provide some context for the invitation; some reason for connecting. Reasons would include an industry, company or school in common; an interest in common, a professional objective in common….whatever. Just SOMETHING that shows you are interested in building a relationship with me.” I like the idea that I might meet someone “new” who could change my professional life in a very positive way - it’s intriguing.
I had to giggle at the activity you referred to as, “increasing your connection count”. I had not yet put into words what at a gut level I suspected…people are actually competing for the number of connections in their network. The concept of “connection count” fascinates me. There is probably intrinsic value in this activity yet to be revealed!
I enjoyed your essay Valerie. Thank you for making me think about LinkedIn at a deeper level than I had to date!
Hi Alice,
Thank you for stopping by and commenting and, yes, I am happy to answer any questions that I can.
The answer to your first questions, when you receive an invitation in your email, there is a link at the bottom of it that says:
“View invitation from Jane Doe”
When you click on this then it bring you to the invitation, where the “From” field is a link to that person’s profile.
With regard to “rejecting” invitations, you have two options, which are not very obvious to most people. The first option is to “Archive” it and then the second is “I Don’t Know Jane Doe”. Be careful with the second option. If a profile gets 5 IDK’s then their profile is frozen and they have to go through customer service to get it cleared up. There is a lot of debate and controversy regarding IDK that I don’t have time to discuss here, but just be sensitive about using it. If you are unsure then “Archive” is generally the best option.
You are correct about being concerned with who to accept and who not to accept. This, again, is a HUGE topic of debate much bigger than what would be appropriate here. What we can do, if you like, is the next time you get one, send it to me and we can walk through it together. You are definitely on the right path regarding the opportunities new connections bring. My point is if they cannot articulate their own value in MY terms (rather than focused on what is important to THEM) then why would I want to connect with them? Worse than that are the folks who don’t bother saying anything at all, just using the canned invitation. I will tell you Alice, that my position appears to be on the Quality side of the Quality Versus Quantity argument and that my position seems to be the minority opinion.
I hope this helps clarify for you.
Valerie
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Valerie, I *sooo* share your same perspective on this! I’ve reached a point where I actually consider these generic invitations outright offensive, especially when there’s absolutely *zero* apparent reason why we might have anything in common, and/or they are located on the other side of the world. Sure, theoretically, almost anyone with a enough disposable income is at least a prospect for me, but I want a lot more than just a fish farm out of my connections. I like to use LI as a way to keep up with people I actually know, for one, and it’s a *great* information resource on all kinds of different topics.
As to the network being a way to connect with strangers we might otherwise never meet, that’s already built right into the process, even if we only ever add people we know well to our own contact lists. Within as little as 2 or 3 degrees of separation, pretty much anyone will turn up probably hundreds, if not thousands or millions of connections we can tap in various ways. There’s no way that almost anyone can possibly know everyone in their extended networks - and that is part of the whole point.
Great blog, by the way!