This is a true story about how NOT to network.
About 3:00 this afternoon I received an email indicating that I had received a LinkedIn recommendation from someone I know.
I was psyched! Within another few minutes, however, I received a second email from the same person titled “Unemployed”. Ahhh…I see how this works.
Now I’m not picking on the guy, he was a candidate of mine several months ago. He ended up finding a job on his own…the “perfect job” he told me at the time. Hey, it happens. Needless to say, I was disappointed that I didn’t place him but I congratulated him because I could hear the “thrill” in his voice when he called to tell me about it. This is one of those nicely pedigreed candidates, very “place-able”. He presents himself very well and even though we got off to a bumpy start, I really grew to like working with him.
The second email, title “Unemployed”, said the following:
“I find myself looking for a job again. My perfect job as [position title withheld] of [company name withheld] was the perfect job - but the culture of the company was not a good enough fit. So, I am again looking for the perfect [position title] position with a company that has a better culture.
Let me know when you have a few minutes.”
During the time he had the “perfect job” I had called him at least three times and left him messages which were never returned. I had also sent the request to recommend me right after he accepted this “perfect job” which remained an open request until today, the day he finds himself “looking for a job again”.
Needless to say, this is not the ideal way to network. It sends exactly the wrong message.
So please, please, please don’t wait till crunch time to start networking.
If you are in a good place in your career, reach out NOW.
Build your network NOW.
If you are already in a “spot” then you have to network now. At least, remember who was with you during this time when you get back on track.
Don’t worry, I will probably take care of my candidate, but we will definitely have to have a chat about how he handled things during the “perfect job” time. I am a little disappointed in him and, the truth is, I don’t HAVE to work with him if I choose not to. I wish he would’ve thought about that over the past several months.
Dear Valerie,
Congratulations on your launch! Great article. I can so relate with your experience. This has happened to me so many more times than I care to recount.
Step on the high ground of compassion from which to “see” the situation. Clearly, the candidate was operating purely from a selfish point of view and did not take your feelings into account. I know that you’re probably feeling “used” because that’s how I’ve felt in those situations.
Forgive. He hasn’t fully evolved. You, however, have obviously arrived at a level of sophistication in the ethos of professional networking. Give him your feedback gently, and let him know that his networking MO could “burn” the very connections whose assistance he needs.
Keep up the terrific work! I’m delighted you’re with us on linkedinpowerwomen.
To your success,
Maya Walker
Founder, LIPW
Hi Maya,
I did exactly as you suggest, especially since I really do genuinely like this guy. I brought it to his attention and he told me that he could definitely see of how it “looked”. He also told me he had been out of touch with some members of his own immediate family as well, so I wasn’t alone. He is a decent person, but his “perfect job” didn’t honor his requests (upfront I am told) for work/life balance. That is why he left. I always planned to forgive him as you suggest, but I did (gently) bring up the matter and talk it through with him.
Thanks for the feedback and the encouragement!
Valerie